With our 24-hour news cycle, it’s hard not to be on edge regarding the spread of the coronavirus. Worry over our financial situation, or the health of our family, friends and neighbors. It all leads to coronavirus anxiety. And it all takes its toll.
Much of the news focuses on useful preventative measures that include washing your hands, using sanitizers and avoiding close contact with those that are sick, but it often ignores another important part to staying healthy — managing stress and anxiety.
ANXIETY – IS IT NORMAL?
The short answer to this is “YES”. It is a normal response. There are many ways anxiety may manifest itself. We have a short polling question to ask of you. Check any of these that may apply to you.
Are you feeling?
1. Tightness in your chest
2. Do you startle more easily?
3. Have your sleep patterns changed?
4. Do you have a shorter fuse?
5. Has your appetite changed?
6. Is it harder to concentrate?
7. Are you restless or Nervous?
8. Do you have aches in your head, jaws, neck, or shoulders?
9. Do you sometimes feel afraid?
10. Frustrated when you have a solution and the rules change?
The first thing you need to do is…..
Recognize It
1. Your body knows
2. Unprecedented unknowns
3. Vulnerability
You may not realize you are feeling anxiety; but, your body does. Anxiety is a normal response whenever we are dealing with the unknown. In a tiny environment, it’s why we jump at surprises in scary movies. In a larger environment, the pandemic we are experiencing now, it is why we feel uncertain or even afraid.
Right now we are dealing with more unknowns than most of us have experienced in our lifetime. We may have experienced the polio epidemic of the 1950’s, or the Cold War and Cuban Missile Crisis in the 1960’s, 9/11, and the 2008 financial crisis. While these were serious events, they did not change our actual day-to-day life. We were still free to come and go at will. Basic rules still worked.
While anxiety is a normal response, it is an uncomfortable state of being. Negative feelings make us much more vulnerable to negative thinking and assumptions. However, it does not have to be debilitating. We do not have a choice about our circumstances; but, we do have a choice in how we respond to them.
What are our choices?
The Serenity Prayer
“………accept the things I cannot change”
“………courage to change the things I can”
Choose Opportunity
We often think of the Serenity Prayer as the Alcoholic Anonymous Prayer.
It was actually written by Reinhold Niebuhr when he was imprisoned during World War 2 in a Nazi concentration camp. So often we focus on the phrase “accept the things I cannot change” when an equal part of the prayer is “the courage to change the things I can”. Niebuhr is telling us to CHOOSE OPPORTUNITY.
Next you need to…..
Name It
As with any problem solving, we first have to break down exactly what is creating anxiety. Is it:
Pressure to achieve goals in spite of the changes in the environment
Frustration with constantly changing and shifting data and information
Internal Conflict between what you should do and what you want to do.
Third you need to….
Choose Opportunity
What are the things you have always wished that you had time to do?
What would you like to change operationally?
Create a better relationship with your employees
Communicate regularly letting your employees know the steps you are taking
Scan files into a digital format
Purge old files
Clean out (that) space.
Get caught up – clear the papers and files on your desk
Take advantage of online training
Send out a newsletter
Write a blog
We’ve all said it –
“I just wish I had the time to……..”
Good news is that – now you do!
How to make a difficult situation worse or better…….
1. Vulnerability
2. Choice
Anxiety and fears of the unknown make everyone vulnerable to negative thinking. The mindset we CHOOSE can have an incredible impact.
Awfulizing
“This is the worst thing that has ever happened.”
“This is horrible.”
“Things will never be the same.”
“What if……”
We almost always “what if” to the negative. “What if this turns into the great depression again?” If you turn ‘what ifs’ toward the positive; “What if we use this time to learn how to be more responsive to marketplace change?” “What if this is a time we learn to reset our priorities.” The negative increases our fear and anger, the positive way chooses to look for opportunities.
Awfulizing Scale
_____________________________________________
Worst in Life
Instructions:
On a piece of paper draw a horizontal line across the page. Now, at the furthest point to the right write what the worst thing that could happen in your life. For those of us with children it is usually the death or disability of a child. It may be the death of a partner or parent. Now, where on this line would missing a movie you wanted to see go? a canceled vacation go? As human beings we cannot maintain a cognitive perspective without reference points. This scale helps us maintain our
perspective.
Devilizing
“They never know what they are doing.”
“They are so stupid.”
“You can’t trust any of them.”
“If they had done ____, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”
Validity
Blaming
Factual sources
Instead, look to see if any ideas expressed have validity. Blaming is not helpful, uses up a lot of emotional energy, and increases a sense of helplessness – Even if it is not your ‘fault’, it is your responsibility to manage. When we give ‘They’ all the power, we feel powerless.
Find factual sources of information for problem solving.
Personalizing
“They never wanted us to be successful.”
“I don’t want the family business to go down on my
watch!”
Not about you
Span of Control
Recognize that no one has done anything to you. This is not about you. A pandemic is blind.
Span of Control – How much in this situation do you have control over? We do not have control over the CDC recommendations, the science behind creating a vaccine, the stock market, the weather. We can only change those things we have control over.
Choosing Opportunity
Take actions - doing one small thing can immediately lower your anxiety.
How we think and feel during uncertain times can be effectively changed when we can immediately take an action.
Actionable Steps
Write down your worries - Action blinds anxiety
Facing fears provides a sense of relief
Find an excuse to laugh - groaner jokes, tell funny stories about the last time you laughed so hard your sides hurt
Simple acts - picking up groceries, FaceTime with a friend, reading well-sourced news
Be realistic -cut yourself some slack
Practice mindfulness - count your breaths, awareness of your body
Stay grounded in the present
Physical mindfulness
Physical remembrances of strength
Practice Physical Mindfulness
Run your finger from your forehead straight back to the top of your head. Focusing on the midline of the cortex naturally quiets stress about future and past and tends to bring into circuits on the other side of the brain that support present moment mindfulness and a sense of well-being.
Turn to physical remembrances of strength – your body sense of a time you felt your own moxie/grit – e.g.: Carrying an AC unit up 4 flights of stairs; first time you did a crow pose in yoga; running a 5k or half or full marathon; holding a friend who was going through a tough time.
Mindset Shift
Negative Positive
Doing breathwork, calling loved ones, getting enough sleep, proper nutrition, prayer, keeping a routine, doing activities I love at home, getting outside, learning to use Zoom, joining online exercise classes, concerts – even weddings! All these will help.
Review
Anxiety is Real and Normal
Your Body Recognizes Anxiety
You have a Choice in How you Respond
Take Action to reduce Anxiety NOW!!!
You can Shift your Mindset
There is Hope!!!
Authors
Jennifer Lewis is Co-Founder and President of the Tennessee Center for Family Business. She is an experienced trainer, facilitator, consultant and counselor. Jennifer has over thirty years’ experience in working with organizations, employers, individuals, couples and families. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology from the University of Tennessee in Knoxville and a Master’s Degree in Counseling from Covenant Theological Seminary in St. Louis. Jennifer is certified as a Myers-Briggs Practitioner and as a Global Career Development Facilitator.
Glenna Mingledorff is a Licensed Professional Counselor who recently retired from a private practice where she worked with individuals, couples, and families. She has 40 years of experience working with private and public sector companies as a consultant and trainer. Glenna earned a bachelor’s degree from Emory & Henry College and a master’s degree from Harvard University. She has additional post masters work at Vanderbilt University.
If you would like to speak privately with one of our counselors, click here Contact a Counselor or call 615-771-7554 to schedule an appointment.
At The Tennessee Center for Family Business our mission is to help family business leaders create a positive environment in which the family THRIVES, and the business performs. As family business leaders ourselves, we want you to know that we are here to serve you whether it be family counseling, coaching, transition planning or becoming a member of a family business mastermind group. To learn more visit our website at www.tncfb.com or send us an email to info@tncfb.com.
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